One of My Biggest Slogan Pet Peeves

I'm not trying to be a grammar fascist here, but I have a pet peeve involving slogans that incorrectly use the present progressive tense. "OK, what the heck is that?" you ask. Simple present tense is this: I am purple; present progressive tense is: I am being purple. It's the verb "to be" followed by a verb ending in "ing".

Here's an example of the way it's poorly used in slogans:
"Bob's House of Cheese - Providing cheese for the masses."

Why do I dislike the way it's used? First, it's not quite grammatically correct. It should read, "Bob's House of Cheese is providing cheese for the masses." But that sound's really awkward, so they drop the word "is". The problem is, our brain puts it in anyway and it  still sounds off.

The second and most important reason I dislike this slogan technique is that too many companies use it and it sounds very cliche. When things sound cliche and hackneyed, our brains ignore them. There's nothing interesting here. Your slogan is a waste of space.

I do not think slogans have to be grammatically perfect. I use creative grammar all the time. I suggest you read your slogan out loud, by itself and listen  to how it sounds. Most people process the written word vocally, and if something sounds uncomfortable out loud, it probably reads poorly too.

The third problem with this slogan technique is that it tends to lead to laziness. Instead of spending the time and effort to come up with something that grabs a customer, just write something like "providing" and then list your services. Yawn!

The truth is that most slogans and taglines suck. You can tell that about 5 seconds of thought went into them. It's unfortunate because every time someone ignores your crappy slogan, you've missed an opportunity. Can you see the hundred dollar bills with little wings flying away from you?

What are some alternatives?

Short and punchy: Cheese for the masses

Double Entendre: We cut great cheese

Simple benefit: Widest selection of cheeses in the Northeast

Off the wall: Scream if you like cheese!

Who knows? There are so many ways to go that aren't tired. You do not have to copy other marketers phrases.

My business card features a photo of a man who's tearing a sheet of paper with his teeth in anger. The tagline reads: "Frustrated because your marketing sucks? Let's fix it."

You see the tagline actually has a conversation with the reader. Not only that, but every small business person I meet has trouble with marketing. People definitely read my card.

Dare to be different. That doesn't have to mean weird - it means different. Do something your competitors don't as long as it fits the image you want to project.

J D Moore - Marketing Comet