Marketing Comet - Small Business Marketing Secrets

One of My Biggest Slogan Pet Peeves

I'm not trying to be a grammar fascist here, but I have a pet peeve involving slogans that incorrectly use the present progressive tense. "OK, what the heck is that?" you ask. Simple present tense is this: I am purple; present progressive tense is: I am being purple. It's the verb "to be" followed by a verb ending in "ing".

Here's an example of the way it's poorly used in slogans:
"Bob's House of Cheese - Providing cheese for the masses."

Why do I dislike the way it's used? First, it's not quite grammatically correct. It should read, "Bob's House of Cheese is providing cheese for the masses." But that sound's really awkward, so they drop the word "is". The problem is, our brain puts it in anyway and it  still sounds off.

The second and most important reason I dislike this slogan technique is that too many companies use it and it sounds very cliche. When things sound cliche and hackneyed, our brains ignore them. There's nothing interesting here. Your slogan is a waste of space.

I do not think slogans have to be grammatically perfect. I use creative grammar all the time. I suggest you read your slogan out loud, by itself and listen  to how it sounds. Most people process the written word vocally, and if something sounds uncomfortable out loud, it probably reads poorly too.

The third problem with this slogan technique is that it tends to lead to laziness. Instead of spending the time and effort to come up with something that grabs a customer, just write something like "providing" and then list your services. Yawn!

The truth is that most slogans and taglines suck. You can tell that about 5 seconds of thought went into them. It's unfortunate because every time someone ignores your crappy slogan, you've missed an opportunity. Can you see the hundred dollar bills with little wings flying away from you?

What are some alternatives?

Short and punchy: Cheese for the masses

Double Entendre: We cut great cheese

Simple benefit: Widest selection of cheeses in the Northeast

Off the wall: Scream if you like cheese!

Who knows? There are so many ways to go that aren't tired. You do not have to copy other marketers phrases.

My business card features a photo of a man who's tearing a sheet of paper with his teeth in anger. The tagline reads: "Frustrated because your marketing sucks? Let's fix it."

You see the tagline actually has a conversation with the reader. Not only that, but every small business person I meet has trouble with marketing. People definitely read my card.

Dare to be different. That doesn't have to mean weird - it means different. Do something your competitors don't as long as it fits the image you want to project.

J D Moore - Marketing Comet

Microsoft's New XNA Game Studio Express Offers Unique Oportunity

I have to say that I love the trend of democratization that technology is bringing. Anybody can put up a blog, a web page, video on YouTube, a MySpace profile. Any some stuff out there is actually quite good. Along with this comes new opportunities for small to medium businesses to promote themselves.

The key is content

Remember the old time radio and TV shows that were not only sponsored by, but produced by the advertisers? You might have the Camel cigarette variety hour, for example.

I believe that this trend is coming around again, as soon as businesses figure out how to capitalize.

Microsoft has announced the launch of its XNA Game Studio Express. For a license fee of $99, the tool will allow those with some programming experience to create and distribute their own rudimentary X-Box games. So what?

Well, imagine a smart small business that teams up with a local high school computer science lab. The small business provides the licenses and maybe some instruction, and the high-schoolers could compete in teams to create branded games to distribute. The prize could be a small scholarship, but the learning experience would be invaluable.

Now you have a game - developed at very low cost, and distributed on a popular game console. The game would carry the brand of the company and, if it's good, possibly bring global viral attention to your business.

This is a plan that is eminently achievable, and would undoubtedly generate secondary press for a company that handled it well.

With this new set of tools, Microsoft has promised that simple games could be developed in a matter of weeks not months. I am sure that other console makers will be soon to follow suit - if they know what's good for them.

In any kind of sponsored content endeavor it's really important to remember that if the content appears too much like an ad - it will not get nearly the attention that it should. Think product placement in movies.

I am excited about anything that gets people to think creatively. I think the XNA Game Studio Express may be a fantastic opportunity for some smart smaller businesses.

J D Moore - Marketing Comet

How Open Should You Be About Price

One of the things that impressed me the most about the gym I belong to is that their price was posted on the front counter. A lot of the more expensive gyms you walk into guard their prices like they are a state secret. This makes me very uncomfortable.

I remember that there used to be a gym very close to my office. I walked in there one morning and said, "I want to sign up, can you give me the price". The answer: "no, you have to go on a tour of the gym first and them meet with one of our salespeople."

See ya! I never joined and that gym has gone out of business. They lost my sale because they missed out on two key sales points:

1. If somebody is at the peak of their buying emotion (they are ready) - do not make them wait to buy. Sign them up or sell them right then.
2. They refused to answer one of my questions making me distrust them and suspect that they were trying to pull something on me.

Now, I will say that I have been on the flip side of this when doing sales myself. Selling something as complex as advertising, many potential clients would say, "just give me your prices". Of course we would, but the client had no way to interpret them because the prices were completely out of context.

Often they would get one glance at a price sheet and say, "too expensive". The reality is that answer is mostly natural sales resistance, but also the client not understanding what he or she is looking at.

My recommendation is always give the client the information they want, don't come off like a sleazy huckster, and offer up more explanation. Try to have a natural conversation with them - 9.999% of people can smell a pitch a mile away and hate it.

"Can I get your prices?"

"Absolutely, here they are. We have a couple of specials that you might want to hear about as well. What questions do you have about the prices?"

"This is way too expensive."

"I know a lot of people get sticker shock when they first see the price list. Let me explain a little bit about our prices..."

It's important to keep the dialog going. If your prices are higher than your competition - you had better have a compelling reason for it. If you are less expensive than your competition - have those prices handy to show your client that you are lower.

Low prices to some people mean less value. I know it may sound crazy, but you also need to explain lower prices. In tests when people are given three choices of similar products with different prices - most people pick the middle price.

If you ever get a chance to walk around an IKEA take a look at a lot of their signage which explains how they keep their prices so low. They buy in bulk, use self-service, and ship everything in flat boxes for example. IKEA has successfully built a reputation for very low price, high quality, and incredibly useful stuff for the home.

Always try to see things from your customer's perspective. Would you trust a huckster that wouldn't give you their prices?

J D Moore - Marketing Comet

Looking Forward to $4 a Gallon Gas?

Mark my words, today's announcement about leaky oil pipes in Alaska are a precursor to US gas prices going up to $4 per gallon within the next year. Pardon me in advance for getting a bit preachy here - but I'm steamed at the state of energy in the US.

Gas prices in the US have been scalloping up for a long time. They will raise them 2 steps drop them a step, then raise them two steps. The pricing patterns are regular and even predictable. Yes - I know that Katrina knocked out some production. However, gas prices are at a record high and the oil companies are making record profits. These things are related.

The oil companies are using world events to rape American consumers who are dependent on oil to heat their homes, and drive to work. Let me repeat - they are raking in record profits. If the cost of oil and gas production was the main factor in the dramatic price increases, then profits should only rise in proportion to demand. That isn't happening, and the gas companies are lying to us. It's just that plain and simple.

The only answer is a difficult one - but not impossible. After all, we put men on the moon.

Let's drop some reality bombs:

Our reliance on foreign oil is a national security nightmare
Where did Saddam, Osama, and the boys et all their money? oh yeah - oil. Cut off the demand for oil from the Middle East, and in a single generation you will see most of the wealth dry up. Terrorists and despots will go back to throwing rocks. The US will be able to extricate itself from the tribal wars that have been raging for a thousand years.

I realize who pays our elected officials. Our fine president is in business with the Saudi Royal Family, and even some of Bin Ladin's relatives. There's nothing wrong with this - it just seems like a conflict of interest to me.

Fossil fuel is filthy
No matter what the oil industry tells the president what to order NASA to say - global warming is an extremely real and extremely dangerous effect that can seriously harm life on Earth in the next generation. Remember Katrina? Wonder why all the weather on the planet has gone all wonky? Why are all the glaciers melting?

Very realistic alternatives
It is possible to set up farms of windmills in just 4 states in the US and provide the entire country with cheap, renewable, non-polluting energy. Why don't we do it? Well, the US government gives very little money to set up wind-farm technology and frequently cuts off their funding altogether. Meanwhile, the highly profitable oil industry receives tens of billions of dollars in US government subsidies every year, and has never ever lost funding.

Remember who really pays our politicians.

We could power almost all of our vehicles with cleaner, renewable ethanol. Yes I know that the US doesn't produce enough ethanol to power all our cars. Brazil does however, because they can make it from sugarcane. So why don't we import Brazilian ethanol? Well the US government has imposed a 100% tariff on ethanol - effectively pricing it out of the market.

Guess what the tariff is on oil. That's right 0%.

Remember who pays our politicians.

We face a very real and imminent national crisis. While our politicians play partisan games and reap huge paychecks from very shady people - we and our children get to pay the price.

What we must do
We must approach the current energy crisis like we approached the space program in the 60s. We should be pouring national resources, and gathering the best minds in the world to solve the energy problem. We must vote out anybody who doesn't approach energy as a national security issue - and that's pretty much every single person in national office today.

The US congress has an 85% encumbency rate - that's simply disgusting.

Fuel cells, biodiesel - all seem within our grasp. Australia an China are building solar power facilities that will power 100,000 homes each. Why aren't we doing that? Our government, because of greed and only greed, is tricking very few resources into these planet-saving technologies.

Think $4 a gallon gas will be tough - wait till it gets to $5 or $6. Oh yeah and all the prices of everything we buy that gets shipped are going up. Oh yeah - you will be paying nearly double what you have been to heat your house.

I know I've bashed the president a lot here, but this is an issue that crosses party lines. The US two party system has failed us. It's devolved into partisanship that has sunk below the rhetoric usually reserved for rival high schools.

You empower yourself by getting educated and becoming active. Remember that politicians are not our leaders - they are our servants.

J D Moore - Marketing Comet